Also, now that there are five commentaries on the site, and five is about as many as most people can count on one hand, I imagine keeping track might get unwieldy for some. So, I have created a master archive post! This post has a lot of information. It has commentaries sorted by comic, also including the names of the next five commentaries I will be doing. I’m trying to alternate requested comics with comics I wanted to do in the first place. So, uh, stay interested!
Anyway. DINOSAUR COMICS AGAIN~ I don’t need to reintroduce this, do I? You come, you read, you leave. Goodness me, I really hope I can stay awake to have my brain rewired.
Start here, just as before: http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=101. Follow the magic “next” button!
101. Callypygian! That’s a word I’ve never heard before! I think I will use it in casual conversation now. I don’t know what onanistic means and I don’t feel like looking it up.
102. T-Rex: Today is a good day I think for asking profound philosophical questions!
Don’t you do that every day, T, along with stomping? I somehow feel like this is like real life – we consider why we’re here, and then we remember we have something to do and forget to find the answer.
103. SUN PUNS. IT RHYMES. And sun puns somehow segue into awkward situations? How awkward.
104. Drama? In MY Dinosaur Comics? How dare they. Panel 3 is very true to life – could it be that the knowledge is instilling a crush in Mr. T-Rex himself? I wonder if that happens if you find out someone has a crush on you and it’s not a situation where you’re immediately revulsed…
And here’s Utah, always there to carry in a plot twist…
105. T-Rex: What is love?
Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more! And hm, it actually does look like some romantic tension is brewing between the three of them! Though it’s kind of hard to get invested when you know that it could be completely ignored come next comic… 8[
106. I agree, high-school “does she like me” shenanigans are a waste of time. Because you already know that they hate you. Profoundly. Or that they just don’t like you that way and will turn you down politely which will make you look like a fool and the both of you awkward around each other and ruin your friendship and no I’m not speaking from experience. I wish I was.
Though I must say he did a smooth job of asking her ou- DINOSAUR SEX? Thanks, Mr. North, now I find myself trying to imagine that! I think I’m going to move on, thanks!
107. I have never played “Scrabble” with anyone, and thus I do not think I have ever had a meaningful relationship. I think I’ll look up every word with Y’s and Q’s in it beforehand.
Scrabble during sex…? I can’t decide whether that would be awesome or very strange. I just realized I went through this entire plot without once mentioning Dromi.
108. Canada Day?
CANADA DAY?
THERE IS A SUCH THING AS A CANADA DAY?!? INVENTED CANADA? Where people actually DO live in igloos and fight bears? Forget that, I’m going to go speak French and ride a moose! Because those are totally not cultural stereotypes, am I right?
109. Yep, it’s just as I supposed before. That romantic subplot has been dropped without a hint of returning. I think T-Rex would make a good bouncer, for reasons he has just explained. And look at Utah, ever determined to have his way!
110. Wait, there are other characters in this comic? Like pterodactyls? Are they the same pterodactyls flying around in the site backgrounds, or are those its parents, ever searching for their lost little flying thing?
Dromi: YOU LOST A BABY?
This line should not have made me laugh at all. Though I am happy there’s panic at the end.
111. Wait, so this IS a linear plot? Huh, it all makes sense now. In a sense!
112. I must admit, these are VERY good points he’s making. If there are any baby-losers in the audience, do take heed. Especially if you know any fine young men named Rumpelstiltskin.
113. One odd thing that Dinosaur Comics often does is change the subject in the middle of the comic. We go from babies under couches (?!) to the very subject of the couch itself!
114. This is a funny and yet also super sad comic. T-Rex does not have as many friends as he thinks he does. D8 It is very hard to make a list of friends, by the way. I prefer they remain unlisted so no one is excluded.
115. Huh, this is almost a scarier twist than 113’s subject change – first love, then sex. I’m super sad that I never got to hear Utah’s big news. (The answer is love, by the way.)
116. A true story? *suddenly very engaged* Woah, why would a store not have any Paprika! It’s a very good movie by the unfortunately late Satoshi Kon. *groan from the audience*
And thus does this story have a sad ending…the moral, kids? If you are a grocery store, STOCK EVERY SPICE. INCLUDING THE POISON ONES.
117. Is it just me, or does this abstract religion play sound a lot more boring than the Tony role? Unless Science and Religion are wrestling in rice pudding…
118. Oooh, a mini-arc! I personally don’t think Science and Religion are mutually exclusive, but whatever they want to think will kill them their own way in the end. Panel 5 is tl;dr…
119. It is true that science does not have the answer to those questions! But religion sort of makes the answers up and operates itself as if they were true. (Which I will admit works in many cases.) Panel 6 got me giggling, if only imagining what people might think after being told not to swear.
120. Panel 3 has a very, very good point. Why can’t we all be friends?
T, Utah: You think you have the monopoly on truth!
Monopolies are illegal in many countries. I feel like this commentary is straying into dangerous territory…
121. So let’s be thankful that we are back to being silly! Thanks, Dino Comics, I had no idea what a sequential comic was. Thank you for augmenting my understanding. And the bottom three make moving in feel very unappealing. Suddenly I don’t want to go to college. D8
122. Somehow this sounds even lamer than “The Metamorphosis.” Poor T-Rex! Writing a novel is a lot harder than it seems.
123. Secret sharing comics? Would that be sharing secrets, or things shared in secret? Are they perhaps the same thing? Who knows indeed! It’s actually adorable here how the T-Rex is digging himself into a hole. Also, how did he manage to steal a COUCH without being seen is what I wonder.
124. Oh goodness, this. Essential feminine and masculine, the be all and end all of bad discussions. Well, good thing it wasn’t discussed then. And what does “pipes” mean? Hello, anyone? Men? Women? Dogs?
125. Oh, T-Rex. Making up your own rules never bodes well for anyone! I find these comics make good discussion starters even though I have never started a discussion with them. And, ooh, throwback to previous comic! Funny how nihilism is a fond memory to them…xD
126. Panel 3 is one of the saddest things that can happen to a party –
Utah: Oktoberfest?
T-Rex: Beer and sausages!
….PFFFFHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh my god, that’s brilliant! Why have I never heard that before?
127. Panels 1 and 2 almost top the Oktoberfest joke. ALMOST. Emphasis, again, on ALMOST. Democracy of dinosaurs…I wonder what kind of government dinosaurs had. Clearly a government that supported libraries.
128. Oh, HEY! It’s the first appearance of God! Yes, in fact, God does become a recurring character in Dinosaur Comics - not yet, but soon. He never actually appears, but he does speak in all caps from above. Or, in this case, from the side of Panel 6. This is a very cute comic. And I think that if behind-the-couch is a very quiet place, it can be a nice place to find God. Or else to hide from the Doctor.
129. Oh, how cute is this comic? And also how frustrating! I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. EVEN THOUGH I CAN’T, BECAUSE BOTH I AND RYAN NORTH WILL BE DEAD.
130. What’s a platitude? Is it kind of like being patronizing? Because if so, I’m really sorry, people I’ve patronized without realizing it! D8
131. How is “Hide and Go Seek” a myster- oh, it’s a mystery that he got screwed up? That’s hardly a mystery! It just means T-Rex has ADHD like I do.
132. This is pretty much the ur-Dinosaur Comics strip, or probably is. I can’t really remember all of them unfortunately. Though Utah has a good point in Panel 4…and T-Rex has a believable response unfortunately.
133. Lavishing praise on people is just a good way for people to think you are creepy. There is no secret to friendship except for the super-shallow. 8/ Utah’s compliment is indeed pretty weak…and, without the purposeful twist, this might be the plot of many of the ostensibly children’s cartoons I like to watch. I rather like the blue SUDDENLY.
134. Ah, a common worry for many. Including myself. And exercising is hard to commit to…and, yeah, T-Rex, if you’re worried about your weight, that’s not any way to go about things!
135. I don’t really understand how someone can “lose” their virginity, as if they forgot where it was. Oh well, it makes for a cute-ish joke.
136. Why do I half-remember a later strip in which T-Rex stayed up for 36 hours and almost drove himself mad with hallucinations? And why would anyone want to not sleep? SLEEP IS AWESOME.
137. Ah, the only story any child wants to know! This strip reminds me of something I once read somewhere. “There are two kinds of people who never, ever have sex – your parents and your children.” I’ll tell you right now, my parents have never had sex. Me and my two sisters came from the stork after long nights of prayer.
138. Don’t you hate the days when you start thinking about things like this? Odd, disjointed names that are now connected to lives completely alien to yours? Oh, wait, while I wasn’t looking this comic derailed into an examination of memory and amnesia. AMNESIA? I SMELL A STORY ARC.
139. I certainly hope T-Rex is aware of the plot’s self-resetting abilities, because otherwise he’s really stupid. And how do you know God is dead or uncaring if you keep debating his nature, Mr. Utah? AND THE MINI PLOT REALLY KICKS OFF.
140. For an amnesiac, T-Rex still likes to deduce things. And still gets them fantastically wrong! Being told you are not an astronaut when you clearly are is heartbreaking… after all, everyone knows dinosaurs make the best astronauts.
141. While this is definitely an interesting observation from T-Rex, it makes me wonder – would someone with amnesia be immediately aware of their amnesia? How would they know that they didn’t remember anything? Would this affect their personality at all? I wish I could meet an amnesiac and ask him some questions. It doesn’t seem to be affecting T-Rex’s personality at all. Or maybe he stomps on things instinctually.
142. Looks like the power of non-consecutive storylines has restored T-Rex’s memory. There are many funny things in this comic, all of which are pointed out to us, like a much better written Selzer and Friedberg movie. I giggle’d at Panel 6.
T-Rex: Why yes, I am freshly showered!
143. Oh, wait, so now we’re back to the amnesia? Odd. Though that is a good observation. I wonder if you would forget your own birthday. However, as we see, this is not infallible. I don’t want to lose my memories, anyway. I have so many good ones.
144. I’d like to add to the explanations in Panels 1 and 2 that if the man is given a one or two word description, we are further expected to expect them to follow cultural stereotypes – aka, the priest, minister, and rabbi variant. And giggles at the bottom line C:
145. Can amnesia wear off? Well, who cares – this is a comic, it can follow any laws it wants! Utah’s line is super creepy. And also super awesome. It woke me up.
146. Ah, a downside to amnesia! So this plot twists further! For some reason I love Utah’s one-liners in Panel 5 – they seem so…witty!
Utah: But DID YOU KNOW that dentists only clean your teeth and hang out with you because you pay them to?
xDD.
147. Ah, a directly informative comic! By reading one Dinosaur Comic a day, you could probably be made smarter. (Though 100 is a few too many…) These are neat ways to say no, though the sucking-teeth thing I have never noticed. And aww, poor T-Rex! I like your puns!
148. Why is it that, to me, the romantic movement of “experience” just feels like life in the fast lane for smart people from the 1800s? And aww, poor T-Rex. He just likes to talk about philosophy with his best friend…8[
149. T-Rex has a lot of novel ideas – and this is the one he chooses for his first? Odd. What’s a “stoolie”? I kind of don’t want to look it up. Oh, there we go. And everyone knows that building stories on stereotypes is a quick and easy way to go. People are entertained and reinforced, and you don’t have to do any characterization. I hope you can tell I’m being sarcastic…
150. Aww, this comic is cute! Are these song lyrics? I can’t tell.
151. Panel 3 actually made me scream a little. I would not be able to STAND it if my books were ruined. (Why do I keep talking about myself in these commentaries? Well, T, Utah, and Dromi don’t have much character to comment upon…) And – hey! STOP MAKING POTSHOTS AT YOURSELF, COMIC.
152. This top comic is disinheartening because it could be a metaphor for too many things. It occurs to me now that T-Rex and Utah have a very odd friendship…
153. Remember when I said T-Rex’s Abort-Retry idea could work with the right writing? This idea couldn’t work with any writing at all, because the title is weird and the plot is stilted. Then again, I wonder if this story’s hero has another punny name…8P
154. In today’s comic, we search for excitement! Again it is an analogy for existence! I like the skydiving onto enemies’ houses idea, not because I want to skydive (I do not) but because it sounds so silly.
155. WOO, A GUEST WEEK! This is apparently by Scott Brevan and Kent Earle! I can’t tell if it’s all going to be this style, but a change of style is lovely! It wakes me up a little. Why is T-Rex still dominated by his mother? *giggle* Momma’s boy. This comic has an unkind word in it three times.
156. So this guest week is going to be all different authors! I like the guest comics because they have different art slightly. This one is by Steve Care- FUN PUNS? PUT MY FOOT DOWN. GET A LEG UP. STEPPING OUT. NOT A PUN AT THE END BUT IT’S STILL CUTE.
157. Now this one is by Joseph Kovell! This is the regular comic with fancier word-balloons. Oooh, how self-aware. It would be a weird existence if you knew it was only for entertainment…though it would not really be any difference in any way but a psychological manner. And who the hell does go to Cornwall? Seriously!
158. I love this water-damaged comic from Joey Comeau! It’s a beautiful twist on the art that already exists. And that sounds like a very cute bomb.
159. The author of this guest comic has a name too long to spell. Funnily enough, this comic actually seems to have humans in it. And I’m pretty sure the Tyrones WOULD be miserable in a universe full of dinosaurs.
160. Another guest comic from Jeremy Cl-
…HUMANS?!
…can’t read rest of comic. Mind too blown.
161. T-Rex seems to be running on Rorsarch-logic in this guest comic by Justin Pierce. The last panel confuses me – does T-Rex just suddenly start tripping balls because he is self-actualized? Neat!
162. Ah, back to Mr. North. This comic is kind of tl;dr, but I have to agree – Nutrionomicon is a much better name for a food guide! It’s cool and it appeals to the kids far more than changing an s to a z!
163. Filmic techniques? I’m pretty sure that’s only a term les gens artistiques use… I don’t see the problem with reversal, but then again I’m not a film student (though I do want to write for TV shows and movies). Flashbacks, though, I know. T-Rex’s age is very uncertain, I’ve noticed…
164. This appears to be silly logic! I rather like it, if only because of how convoluted it is.
165. I don’t see anything in this top comic except an introduction of a topic. As for the bottom comic, T-Rex is very lucky that he did not store the insurance papers in his house. He is, however, unlucky that he’ll have to move out of both his house and the state that will prosecute him.
166. Joy sounds like such an old word, doesn’t it? Or some sort of unattainable pinnacle only seen in 50s sitcoms. And hey, again, Panel 5 is right! Why do I keep liking Panel 5 logic? I think I will use that term from now on! Panel 5 logic is fresh and awesome!
167. GENDERBENDING COMICS. HOW EXCITING. Female T-Rex does not look any different. And as Dromi would probably agree, there is no excitement in shopping for womens’ underwear – or as we like to call it, underwear. And, aww, does T-Rex still have some lingering affection for Utah? T-Rex has a weird imagination.
168. Rrrgh. Sarcasm is confusing, especially on the internet! But the confusion is just another indicator of the biting nature of the medium…well, at least it takes embarrassing dramatics out of conversations.
169. What year was this made? 2003? Okay, now I can understand why he’s wait I still can’t understand why he’s excited for a hurricane. Good thing Panel 6 sets him right.
170. This looks interesting but my eyes are skimming over the big long paragraphs. HELP ME ATTENTION SPAN MAN
171. Wait, there is no Attention Span Man. Uh oh. D8 That should be C&H’s next character…ANYWAY BACK TO THIS COMIC. Oooh, a lesbian wedding! I’ve never been to one of those but it would be nice to attend one. T-Rex is being insensitive.
172. This is interesting in that it is a narrative comic only, and doesn’t really have a punchline. Also it seems to take place in a different setting! How sweet it is.
173. I have to admit I chuckled at Panel 2. And is it normal for people to leave on their honeymoon that fast? I’m pretty sure it isn’t…D8
174. I have a feeling that monogamy is a instinctual precedent in order to provide survival for any kids that might come out of it…not that our hormones know that. D8 You learn something new every day, anyway.
175. Fashion advice seems to be made up of insults. LIME GREEN SHIRT AND ELECTRIC BLUE SHORTS? DUDE, I WOULD LOVE IF SOMEONE WORE THAT.
176. Dinosnore? Is this a self-parody or just an attempt to write a deliberately bad comic? Either way, it works perfectly! The inappropriate bolding makes it even funnier, as does the up-front flat characterization. Utah’s only gimmick is his style of speech. That’s boring…and makes Dino Comics look a lot better by comparison!
177. I was confused for a minute at the title. Did it mean things they’ve read on the Internet, or in webcomics? I think it’s the former, but I’m not sure. Either way, I’m surprised those are the ONLY things they found on the Internet!
Meat salad? Do I even want to know what that means?
178. Thanksgiving? Wait a minute *looks at date attached to comic* October 13? But it’s a full month until Thanksgivi – CANADA. RIGHT. Other than this thing about eating the big meal before Thanksgiving, it doesn’t seem too different. Gorge yourself!
179. If I ever tried to tell that lie, I would never be able to pull it off, because people know me too well…but this comic makes me wish I could. ;__; No matter! However, the bigger lies I would not want to tell. I’d just leave people in suspense and hope they forgot. So, yeah, T-Rex is in big doodoo until the continuity resets… 8P
I tried going to the URL at the bottom of the comic. It took me back to the index…
180. This example is what us in the business like to call “silly” and “testing the limits of an idea.” There’s also an interesting twist at the end – hey, I really like this one! 8D
181. So this is how Utah thinks of T-Rex, huh? Is this a dream or an imagining? Is it composed of the jealousy, rage, and sexual tension he might still have for T-Rex? Look at me analyzing a comic that is in fact one and a half panels long!
182. T-Rex: Today is a good day I think for increasing the integral count of my age!
Best. Introduction. Ever. And I loved Panel 3 – I love jokes with less obvious answers.
183. Hubris, eh? We just finished reading Sophocles in class (aww look how young I am), so this should be interesting…so I guess the point of hubris is that he says he’s the greatest and yet still forgets to turn the burner off? D8.
184. How many times has T-Rex lost his house? IIRC, once before… and, T-Rex, if karma has decided to exist in your universe, just because you believe in it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist! Kind of like tuna. And as for Panel 6, I can very much believe that, T-Rex. Wherever dinosaurs went to high school anyway.
185. I had to laugh at the ridiculousness of Panel 2 – it sounds like something a large ham would say! And I think, T-Rex, that you won’t get many non-sarcastic cases if you ARE a building-sized green dinosaur. You often forget that don’t you.
186. It looks like, as you get older, you get somewhat less happening birthdays, but they’re still fun! Also, I’m going to give T-Rex a kick for forgetting his grandfather’s. *kick*
187. Oooh, a Halloween comic! By coincidence it is almost Halloween in real life…I wonder if my commentary near that date should have a Halloween theme. Dressing up as concepts is neat in theory, but kind of silly in practice. Also, guys are lucky that they are not consigned to wearing something with “sexy” in front of the name.
188. T-Rex: But I don’t want to do something that’s been done before!
T, that’s about as impossible as telling a story that’s never been told before. I’m giggling at Panels 5 and 6, because I can’t understand them at all but they’re still so very silly.
189. This is actually a neat idea the T-Rex has, even if it only works if you’re a master of disguise (like the Utahraptor, see panel 6) And would a Utahraptor be a race or a person in this case…whatever. Nice Utahraptor costume, dude!
190. T-Rex, people do that all the time with disastrous results…and now that I know that, the rest of the comic is tl;dr!
Also, I just noticed that North had Halloween comics leading up to Halloween, but no Halloween comic on actual Halloween. Brilliant.
191. I have to agree about the bible – that book can mean absolutely anything! I love how things get very intense in Panel 5 and then get un-intense just in time for a punchline. And a language without double entendres is a sad language indeed. I think I really like English.
192. Haha! I love how this is sort of anti-moral, but still works in pandering to human greed. Funny how something so simple can sound so profound when made boring as I do.
193. Hm, bullet points? Let’s take a look at how T-Rex says to meet new people. I like the thing about the scarf (especially a long Tom Baker-style one!) but not the scar. Attention to names also works. Do NOT tell stories about losing babies.
194. T-Rex seems very interested in this subject, despite not even being monogamous. And it is kind of hard to find a balanced viewpoint about polygamy. You can’t exactly have half a wife. Oh, wait, he was talking about EVERYTHING? O__O
195. Yes, it is true, T-Rex, that free-form poetry can pop into your head, but it still has to be appealing to the reader! It’s about the same as saying stock market reports are poetry. Panel 6 made me smile. Overreactions.
196. Nothing much to say about this one, except I wonder if this actually is a recipe and if it does taste good.
197. T-Rex sure does like the word “sexy”! It is a fun word to say. Sexy sexy sexy. It’s very odd how T-Rex announces this to Dromi, and she doesn’t react…but I get the feeling Dromi only responds when she feels like she wants to get something. And yes, T-Rex, it’s probably you. That and rape laws.
198. Now time for some origin stories told in Dinosaur form. I remember this from Batman Begins! Not so much the pearl necklace (I believe Batman Begins wasn’t out in 2003) but still, so sad… ;__; The upside of it all being that it led to the formation of Batman.
199. TRUTH, JUSTICE, AND THE AMERICAN WAY. And, for once, the house survives. Amazing. And really, that’s the silliest disguise ever. Though glasses really can change a man’s face. (For the better, I believe. Glasses are adorable.)
200. Green Lantern? All I know about him was that he was on Justice League. The cartoon, not any paper comics. (I don’t read paper comics…) So this is as good an origin story as any!
And look at that? WE’RE DONE~ I hope you enjoyed this look at the continued adventures of static dinosaurs. As you may have noticed as you were reading, Mr. North recently added a sharing bar for sharing any Dinosaur Comic that tickles your fancy on Facebook, StumbleUpon, et cetera. And once again, I shall highlight some nice merch. There is a new T-shirt that has shown up since the last review, of a cute 8-bit T-Rex, house and car! And – holy crap I never noticed this – A T-REX ONESIE. Adorable amirite? And probably easily washable, too! There is also the infamous Time Traveler text, which comes on a print or a shirt, and which I will admit I have never read in its entirety.
Anyway, thank you so much for reading, and stay (…car)tooned for Friday when I return to stick figures killing each other! Bye, kids!
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