Friday, October 15, 2010

Dinosaur Comics #3, 200-300 [SEEN IT]

Wouldn’t you know it, it’s that time of week again! Time to learn trivia, become smarter, and hang out with the coolest three dinosaurs on the Internet! Most other dinosaurs are dead and in the ground, but T-Rex, Utah, and Dromi are cool enough to be on the Internet, so let’s have a chat with them and see what they were up to at the tail end of 2003.

Apparently, they were in fact up to more superhero origin stories. So let’s humor their desire to tell us things by going to and clicking the magic “next” button!

201. Okay, okay, okay. I understand completely the three places where this phrase might have originated – testicles, fighter pilots, and freight trains. But why would anyone need to use this? I don’t actually know what this phrase means…

202. Now a little twist on the definition of “origin story”…this is a pretty disenheartening comic. Though I must admit one is happier when one realizes that though one is not perfect, one still has the capacity to do good. 8]

203. And now we’re back to normal. Don’t you hate when you have a crazy dream and can’t remember it or use it as a conversation starter with your friends? This comic is rather sad. I wonder where North gets these ideas. In this case, hopefully not from his own life.

204. Maybe I haven’t made it clear, but I really love it when Dinosaur Comics teaches you something new and wonderful out of absolutely nowhere. And as Utah says in Panel 5, this sentence would never be used – but it’s a piece of linguistic fun! And everyone knows that instead of getting drunk on Friday nights, they want to be playing with linguistics!

205. Whenever DC has a title like “Happiness Comics,” you know shit’s about to go down. 8O

T-Rex: Is happiness such a valid goal?

Do you have any other end goals, T-Rex, besides stomping? But somehow, that last thought bubble worries me…I don’t quite remember the next comic, but are we going to see T as a druggie?

206. I suppose overeating has a narcotic effect. AMERICAN THANKSGIVING, who’d a’ thunk it! Ugh, this comic is making me hungry…it is only a month until AMERICAN Thanksgiving, after all. Maybe we should all just celebrate regular Thanksgiving so we can have off from school sooner :P

207. THIS COMIC HAS A VERY LONG TITLE. And that’s sort of a non-comparison, as the human voice is an instrument in and of itself and therefore a part of a piece of music…

208. If your choices are yours to decide, why do you keep stomping? Because you want to? It’s some convoluted philosophical ideas he’s wrestling with here…things most people take for granted. And woo, it looks like T-Rex finally found his happiness drugs! 8D.

209. I call it – the moral to this comic will be that you shouldn’t count your chickens before they hatch! Woo! Oh, no, wait, it’s about riches and pirates! And pirates aren’t cool? Has Dr. McNinja been lying to me all my life? D8

210. It seems to me like T-Rex is trying to trawl through a lot of theories to get to happiness, only to get them shot down by Utah…on that note, Dinosaur Comics is kind of like a garden path sentence. It starts one way and ends another, going from personal revelations to angst about absent fathers. (By the way, if there are any absent fathers in the audience, please go call your kids today and tell them you love them.)

211. To be fair, T-Rex, most stories people tell about their youth are false to begin with. :P And brick jokes of that length are too easily forgotten by both parties… Utah, you tosser! I’m going to guess that he overheard the whole thing…

212. Sorry, T-Rex. Reptiles are cold blooded. Have fun when the Ice Age hits.

I only just realized that these comics have mouseover text! It tells you who said that dinosaurs are cold-blooded. I’m going to read the mouseover text from now on. Sorry for any inconveniences wrought by not reading the last 211 mouseover texts.

213. T-Rex, if you were called as a witness to a murder trial, YOU WOULD HAVE WITNESSED A MURDER. T-Rex, you’re really weird. In summary, this whole conversation was an excuse for T and Utah to have a dick-measuring contest.

214. Objectivism. Doesn’t account for the human tendency to push others out of their way. The thought of love being selfish has always bothered me…but it always come out well, so yeah. And it is kind of depressing, thank you mouseover text.

216. …

WHAT IS IT WITH COMICS RANDOMLY SKIPPING NUMBERS ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE? Stupid comics. Anyway, this comic should teach you much – always justify the middle ground. It should also teach you not to go around the world unless you are not a dinosaur and can actually fit in a plane.

217. T-Rex, how many offscreen friends do you have? I’d like to see them sometime. Wait, what’s this? Fresh ways to say “I love you”? Hm…not satisfying. Time to go break out the thesaurus. (It knows a bit more about words than a tyrannosaurus. Rest assured, it has been used to write many a love poem.)

218. I hear/use this phrase ALL the time. An examination of it never crossed my mind. To be fair to Utah, T-Rex isn’t using a metaphor at all.

219. Uh. (To be fair to the alt-text, the pages might be different in different editions.)

220. Oh, T-Rex, thank you for inventing all of these holidays! They are quite lovely. And LOL, Dromi. That made me laugh harder than I expected to laugh. DUDE, I WANT A SANDWICH TOO.

221. Silly Dromi, EVERYONE knows that the best things in life can be bought with money. And durr, Christmas parodies.

222. So T-Rex is Santa Claus? Sure, okay, I just don’t want to witness my mother’s lips on his. You know, as much as this comic often bores me, I have to laugh every time T-Rex uses the word “sexy.” I really do not know why. I am not a refined human being.

223. Ah, it’s Christmas. What a sweet and heartwarming comic for the day. For the record it’s the middle of October but I DO NOT CARE. And Christmas every day is a bad idea. Trust me. I watched Fairly Odd Parents in my youth.

224. Aww, does ickle T-Rex still think he’s friends with his dentist? What a loser. xP Poor T-Rex. He has dentist-related issues.

225. TIRED OF PUNS? HOW CAN ANYONE BE TIRED OF PUNS? I am disappointed, T-Rex. And just for that I’m going to UN-kill everyone! HAH.

226. If T-Rex is sharing general trends, then doesn’t that make him a STATISTICS teacher? No, wait…whatever. Thank you, T-Rex, for exposing the mysteries of the past on my fancy computer! And puns ARE awesome, girl.

227. HAPPY 2004, EVERYONE! Make a wish and blow out the candles. I have never heard of anything like Panel 3 happening in my life, though. Though there are a few people I would not mind suggesting to practice with…

229. MORE WANTON SKIPPAGE OF NUMBERS. You know, which DC, I actually don’t mind so much. :P This strip actually starts kind of neat and very quickly goes silly. Synchronized swimmers. Of course they drown.

230. I’ve always thought that being a middle school teacher was the worst job in the world. Elementary school they’re cute, high school they’re human beings, college it’s respectable, middle school they’re little hellbeasts. Tweens is a bit of an awkward word, and yes, overusing it or any other word will get you pelted with paper balls.

231. Non-canon? Are you saying that over the past year you just suddenly decided to be a different person? Goodness. Didn’t know that being a different person was so self-referential.

232. Reading just the first three panels, I don’t know whether to laugh hysterically or bang my head against the table while also laughing. Funny how it makes it sound so catastrophic, though, just like real teen problems. Especially worlds falling apart like that. Oh teens and their discoveries of how to hurt each other.

233. Wait, FLYING SUBMARINES DON’T EXIST?! WHAT IS MY LIFE. D8 And if the cheese is American cheese it’s not really cheese. And, again, it all ends on an unknown note.

234. Ha, ha! Wrong moralistic Christmas special, T-Rex! (And to answer your question, it would have been horrorble.) Still, a DC adaptation of Christmas Carol would be neat…aww, now I wanna watch the Muppets version, and I have too much work to do…

235. All this talk of youth makes me wonder how old they all are. Twenties? Thirties? Probably. And that will be more than enough excitement for you…BECAUSE YOU’LL BE AN OLD TIMER. HAH. Also, mouseover text, you’re weird.

236. WELL THAT’S A TITLE TO CATCH ONE’S ATTENTION. I would ask why you would wish to brag about swimming naked, but it strikes me as something T-Rex would do. He seems to like shock value. And the mouseover text reminds me that, durr, it’s January. Oh well. Dinosaurs are cold-blooded.

237. That’s a kind of depressing and superioristic way to look at it, Mr. Tyrannosaurus! For all the research T-Rex does, he seems to get a lot wrong on purpose.

238. HAPPY MACHINE! As much as reading this comic sadly bores me I smiled at that. Damn you, comic, making me still read you for your cuteness. Funny thing, though, the only thing that I can think of as a “happy machine” is drugs. D8 AND SHUT UP, UTAHRAPTOR. HAPPY MACHINE.

239. A neat party trick, Tyrannosaurus, a neat party trick indeed. And it’s more like a way to turn into a CREEPY shanty. Though I have to admit, it’d be funny with Justin Biebs. “Matey, matey, matey ooooh…”

240. I do have a full grasp on most of these differences. Thanks, Sir Points Out The Obvious A Lot!

241. I don’t know about the problem for rewarding friendships – I give people love for being my friends! I guess it seems a lot more…sycophantic this way. It’s strange how a bit of emphasis can change a gift – a gift out of love, or a gift as a reward for love…

242. I broke into a wide grin when I read this, as I just yesterday accused a male friend of being afflicted with the cooties. He responded, as any male would, “NO YOU HAVE THE COOTIES.” And with just one sentence, life becomes to a playground. Clearly, T-Rex has cooties. Dromi and Utah said so.

243. What color is the sky in T-Rex’s world? :P And yes, there is definitely political undertone here. What if you proclaim you’re right?

244. That…does not sound like a game that will ever be praised, at all. Even without reading the whole comic. But I kind of actually love this comic, because the joke comes out of nowhere! Very clever, well played, Mr. North.

245. Hey, this is probably actually pretty accurate. Victorian Era, that’s probably not what the main said but definitely what he meant. Sexual revolution, there was not so much talking involved. Modern times, we’re trying to recant the Victorian era. Future, we’re just making fun of everything.

246. I wonder how many unpublished novels T-Rex has written in his lifetime. This reminds me of a course I saw in the course roster for the University of Toronto, which was apparently all about sex in film. And you have to think, there are a lot of people who don’t care what their mothers think of their work…

247. T-Rex’s philosophies are getting way crazy man! Hm, this came out a little differently than I expected. VERY differently from what I expected. T-Rex is creeping me out. (By the way, “Living Symbol” is not a good career path. Just look at what it did to The Comedian.)

248. I have to admit, saying that is a lot of fun! It’s just a bunch of funny sounding words. :P And there’s nothing wrong with outdated phrases, totally, dude, quite.

249. …yes. Philosophy comics. In other news, water is wet. And as for the second one (haha, I typed “science one”), brush off, Utah, make room for the REAL expert!

250. Oh, more religion vs. science, I see. This should be riveting. But…huh, that’s an interesting way to put it, Panel 3. Is it flawed, Utah? I had NO idea. And better watch what you’re saying about God, T-Rex…he might just be listening.

251. T-Rex: What, what’s this? A growth on my leg?

I visibly winced when I read that. And ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a single picture of a zombie dinosaur.


252. A SUPERHERO! This adventure of the day might be odd, considering T-Rex stomps on buildings. And look! There’s conflict in this story! It just isn’t very moralistic…poor Dromi. Everything seems to be decided for her.

253. Hm, class? That’s easy, go to college. Oh, handshakes? Well I do agree, in most cases handshakes are classy! Especially secret handshakes.


254. Valentine’s Day? Is it just me or are these comics going rather faster than they usually do? Probably just me. T-Rex was very lucky that Dromi wasn’t taken! (Wait, Utah is gay. Nope, he just lives in a small world.) Poor Utah…I’d be his valentine if I was male.

255. T-Rex’s philosophical beliefs are often all talk. (This reminds me of when I saw a Buddhist magazine that seemed to be published and edited entirely by white Americans.) You saw a statue. Nice.

256. No offense, T, but that’s a REALLY weird thing to do with your life! Just saying. Utah’s right – you don’t do that kind of thing on a whim…

257. I love that word I don’t feel like spelling! It’s so long and sexy. I also love the back-and-forth at the end, though it sort of doesn’t work as a punchline.

258. That’s not a hilarious outtake, that’s a bit of a boring outtake. Same with the second. I think that might be the joke.

259. The INTERNET, you say? I wonder if this was a bigger deal in 2004. Nah, not that old. Guestbook? Really? xD Mr. North actually does have a “” domain. It redirects to Qwantz.


261. I don’t really get what T-Rex was saying. But of COURSE Utah isn’t there! He does not appear in 1-3! It is an IMPOSSIBILITY. And-uh, yeah! Since when do Dinosaurs smoke? SINCE WHEN DO THEY HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS?

262. It’s really weird when one person is shocked by something others take for granted. Such as we see here. A PLOT IS FORMING YOU GUYS AGAIN. But I have to admit, I AGREE WITH T-REX. SMOKING KILLS EVERYONE. 8[

263. T-Rex’s age is very ambiguious. Here he is wondering if he’s old, but also deferring to his mother. And I think that’s a common thing to say, what Dromi is saying. Somehow I picture her as a sort of drifting woman in her late twenties. Perhaps a hipster. Smoking is kind of like self-murder, you know.

264. Nyahaha! Remember when I said God would be a recurring character? WELL, I WAS RITE. YEP, IT’S GOD. HE KNOWS ALL. And only T-Rex can hear him. How odd. Poor Utah, his boyfriend is crazy. He doesn’t know his times tables? What a dinosaur.

265. This comic is, uh, weird! Why does the TEXT keep CHANGING COLOR? And I dunno, T-Rex, I feel mean today! I think I will READ THE LAST PANEL. T-Rex, you tosser.

EDIT: So I feel really, really stupid now, because I just found out this comic was based on the Sesame Street book "The Monster At The End Of This Book." And now I love the reference. Again, I am SO sorry!

266. All of these things just sound like disasters to begin with. Burnt toast is sad. Burnt house is pyromaniacal. Not going on…anyway, why would bridges be funny? Is Utah still mad about T not being his valentine? D8 Anyway, DISASTER STRIKES. Clearly Utah is on fire D8

267. T-Rex is late for things? And important meetings? I didn’t know that in a confined environment this was possible. Or, as the mouseover text reminds me, the dinosaur eras…T-Rex is so very silly isn’t he guys

268. Didn’t T-Rex have a time meachine earlier? No, wait, that was the dimension machine! I’m lost already! Must consult my time machine. *looks at watch* Utah has a point, but what if you don’t build it before you die? Also…he’s right. Of the few Cathy strips I’ve read, they all seem to end in “ack.”

269. T-Rex, that’s not an autobiography. Sometimes he surprises me with what he knows, and sometimes he surprises me with what he doesn’t know. 8P Here I have to smile at the punchline switching in Panel 5. Does he have a garlic sandwich every Tuesday or sommat?

270. T-Rex, would it enrage you more to know that this is what you do every day, but only now are you angry?

Wait, why the I Love Lucy punchline? I’m 17 years old and what is this

271. Now, THIS strip seems more superheroic and also formulaically plotful! This is actually a pretty friggin’ awesome strip because Panel 5 is REALLY COOL. And how can you mind-control yourself? That’s like a lobotomy…

272. An awesome week? Is this a guest week, or just an awesome week? Anyway? CLAY DINOSAURS. I AM SUPER HAPPY ABOUT THIS. <3 I dunno once more, T-Rex, I think the plasticine is AWESOME. Though it might be a bit painful. And if mirrors don’t exist…whatever, words are god!

273. It’s very easy to tell that this is a guest comic, because T-Rex has sworn quite a bit in those two panels. How shocking. Dromi looks pathetic unfortunately. And now I only just noticed the rhymes! Some of them are a bit righteous.

274. This guy did a guest comic before, didn’t he? Yes, yes he did! LOOK HOW AWESOME IT IS. CRIME STOMPER. EXTRANEOUS ACTIONS. FOR DRUGS. This is starting to remind me of Dirty Harry, a little. Utah better be careful…hah, why can’t the whole comic be like this? 8D

275. What, what is this? Granted, it’s a dinosaur comic. But pterodactyls? Lasagna? Really pretty scener-I LOVE THIS COMIC

276. HOLY CRIPESFUL. IT’S A COMIC THAT BREAKS FORM, AGAIN. Oh my god, the rabbits are so beautifully obvious. xD The T-Rex framework is impressive and hilarious. I wonder what they actually did with T-Rex. He probably went on to Castle Aaaaarrrrrgggghhhh unharmed…

277. Another week of awesome guest comics? YAY! Well, this is a perspective we don’t usually get! Is this the guy that does Wigu? It looks like his style. WATCH OUT, HUMANS. THERE’S PHILOSOPHY COMIN’. D8

278. Hi, T-Rex. Nice to see you breaking the fourth wall. How are you? I’m lovely, thank you. And this is actually the most logical logic I’ve ever seen in the comic! T-REX IS FALLING

279. Mildly chunky? I know a lot of supermodels who would give their body fat to be that thin! Uh oh, does T-Rex run this universe? And did Penny Arcade steal their newest T-shirt design from this comic?

280. MS PAINT. OH HOW I LOVE THEE. Anyway, YES. LOVE the Lion King. And that’s not really discrimination if lions do that as a way of life in real life. Just in case anyone was confused.


282. A THIRD week of guest comics??! Dinosaur Comics is spoiling me. So this is the anti-278? Perhaps they should have a cage match. Is Contradiction City near Albequerque? Would I see it if I went to Canada?

283. Isn’t this the name of a movie, or something? Poor Godot, his friends always put too much trust in him. Is the contradiction symbolic? Probably. I wonder if Godot is a canon character. Like the pterodactyls.

284. A comic where things break free of an endless cycle?

…*head pops off*

285. Well, now that that’s taken care of –

*sees comic*

*head pops off*

(Also, admit it, you all picked up your laptops or craned your heads to read Panel 6!)

286. I think in a canon comic T-Rex also decided that he was awesomer than everything. Defeat of other T-Rexes? What would they do? Flail their arms?

289. Biscuits and gravy are pretty go-HUMANS?

(and what was with the sudden skippage of numbers again?)

290. And now, after nineteen (nineteen!) comics, we are back to Ryan North, just in time to show off the last eleven comics of the commentary! I actually think this one is rather adorable because it takes advantage of the medium – the arm placements do make it look like they’re driving cars. How very cute.

291. Oh, what’s this? If only the government were that easy to convince. Then again, T-Rex governs his own world, so maybe he’s right…

292. This “Identity Theory” made no sense to me until I read the thing about the brain and then I started to get a very small and insignificant feeling in my neurons. And then I felt a lot better when I got to Panel 5 because AIs are awesome. You guys ever talked to Cleverbot?

293. I read the first two panels and felt like I was back in an anime from the 80s, and not just because I’ve been watching Sym Bionic Titan for about a month now. Dromi’s right, it makes no sense, but it’s awesome. But, burn, Utah, burn! (Burn the mother down)

294. I don’t have the heart to make fun of T-Rex because I MISS SPRING. Though “young lovers” made me somewhat wistful…just as it does those two. To be fair, though, teenage relationships are gross. Twentysomething relationships are okay.

295. Today seems to be a day for T-Rex to spout off everything on his mind without a particular focus! And here’s Utah, in to change the subject away from spring? The meanie. Scallywag. I have not heard that word before from a non-pirate. neat.

296. I love this one because it’s one of those ones where you are taught something new and useful. Like, the whispering? I AM LAUGHING AS LOUD AS HELL.




297. Sometimes I wonder if when Mr. North puts recipes in his comics, they actually work. I am not a bachelor so I would not know. Anyone know?

298. The Gambler’s Fallacy? I never knew there was a name for that which I partake in so often. There doesn’t seem to be much behind it, though, as we see in the bottom row…

299. Why is it that we always seem to end near Compressed Film Comics? It’s a trifle unusual. o_O I think after “KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN” I stopped reading.

300. Uh…awkward. On both counts.

And what more is there to say? That was another hundred or fewer Dinosaur Comics! Thank you for reading; I hope it made your life more enjoyable. I will take the opportunity now to highlight more of DC’s merchandise – for instance, the There, Now I’m Not Naked Anymore shirt, a shirt of part of panel 4, a shirt of all of panel 2, and a busy day for T-Rex.

Monday, after a weekend of pain, will be another installment of pain! That is to say, Cyanide and Happiness! Woo!

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